Unbecoming Her

We weren’t even talking about her.

I went in to process something else…
a completely different memory.

But somehow—
she kept showing up.

Not directly.
Not loud.
Just… there.

In the feelings.
In the reactions.
In the way my body remembered things my mind didn’t want to.

My therapist said we’re not done with the memory yet.

But next session…
we’re going to talk about my mom.

And I think that told me everything I needed to know
without him actually saying it.

Because what do you do…

When you start realizing
the root of everything
might be the person who was supposed to protect you?

I’m not rushing to label anything.
I’m not making big decisions.

But I can feel it—
this isn’t surface level anymore.

She keeps coming up.

And I don’t know if my mind is ready
to stop avoiding what that means.